Complication?

Am i just a complication to her?
she has changed her facebook relationship to no longer in a relationship at the same time she accepred a friend request from her sister.
We have never told them we are going out. sh eis one to keep it all in.
i have done the same no to my facebook.
Is it because she doesnt want to be questioned by her family because she would find it hard to answer? :( I dont know how to apporuch this, maybe she is tired of me not making any moves due to fear. maybe she does'nt like me. maybe she wants to split.

She is one of the reasons I'm still here. when i was 13 i met her and slolwy began to become attrcted to her, then at 16 i knew i like liked her. and now im would say i love her but why are the words

"i love you" so hard to say?

im afarid of her reaction incase she doesnt say it back?

i dont know what to do. it scares me because we are meant to be going to paris next week with her parents =/ maybe im being silly.
but i love her so so much.

update

sorry havent been on as i norally am =/

things are not good for me right now, but i have so muh to be happy about. i have cut tonight and i will cut again, it will keep happening.

i have been so low recently its killing me inside, suicide thoughts are creeping in i can not deny that, ODing creeps in my mind, cutting my wrists(which i dont do) . i was thinking about jumping from my sisters paprmtnet window last week, but it was to low down.

what the fuck is wrong with me, probs nothiing, just an over dramtic teenager who can't get a gip and you probs all hate me because of it.

i feel so alone all the time. but im not. but i feel unable to actully speak to people about my problems. i feel they will reject me, even though many of my freinds have harmed before maybe know what i have been through or going throught right now. but what right do i have to talk to them about it. there my problems not there.

god im pathetic. sorry

shuting up now.

bye