I'm sitthing here listning the the album chaotic resolve by plumb, a few songs on here i can relate to greatly helps me calm down.

things were looking okay for a few days, people seemed happier when i talked online. but its so easy to lie on msn to makes things seem ok when there not. maybe i was kidding everything

I'm not okay. really need to sleep soon have to work in the morning.
not coping wel with the fact veryone is moving to uni. going back to college. so of course when m not at work and stuck at home there will be noone online ever. not intell late.
dad works most days 12:30-9:00 so im alone for most they day. have to go to the doctors this week.
i say have losley, i dont have to. but i said to my girlfriend.
feel let down my a certain forum for the way they deals with things aswell. not sure its safe there anymore.

i feel very close to cutting tonight but i will try my best to resist that urge in my arm which screams at me so.

I dunno. nothing horrible is happening yet i feel so bogged down, the shadow of depression i guess :(.

sorry just needed to get somethings down.
Shrew
EoZ