And so i have finished college, it was stressful oh very much so but now its all over, like it never happend but i have so many pictures so its proof it did, its like going to a big event you get excited about gyou go but after you come home its like it never happend. but it did, i met mike and psyniac those two are the only reason i stayed sometimes, when i wanted to pack it in, give up, there freindship make me get out of bed.
I live for my freinds and some of my family, without them i would have nothing, i never want to hurt them, killing myself would hurt them to much, it hurts them seeing me cry. thats a memory that stays with me t this day over a year ago when things were rough i cried, i cried so much, i dont know why but i did, i was taken to the gallery sean sat me down, as did dave but when i didnt stop they got them two im so sorry for what i put them throgh not just that day but everyother day i just complained, gave up or acted stupid, but that day when they had to watch me cry must of been so horrible for them, so im sorry.
I stopped crying and promised mysekf to never have another day like that infront of them again, i was low many times but i never talked to them about it, i dont know if they would care or not about my nothings, i will never know now. i dont want to be i there way.
My greatest fear now i have finished college is loosing all the freinds i have made in the last two years. I dont know what lies ahead yet and that in itself scares the hell out of me. Its hurts so much when i loose a freind.
If either of you read this i really am sorry for who i am, the bad parts of me, i dunno what the good are right now.

sorry

xx